'I would have been in a body bag': a domestic violence survivor's story

"I can only disclose [incidents] that had eyewitnesses," Bridget* said, who requested a pseudonym to protect her and her family's identities.

Evidence, notes, copies of emails and nine police contact cards were kept in her box file, some of which were seen by The Courier.

"It is really frustrating when you are promised that you can have a good life together. But [little] by little you just realise that you are being abused," Bridget said.

She said all the nice things that her partner was giving to her was not out of love, but in exchange for being able to manipulate her life.

Tania Farha from Victorian advocacy body Safe and Equal said family violence relationships were often underpinned by power and control.

This year, three women in Ballarat - Rebecca Young, Samantha Murphy and Hannah McGuire - were allegedly killed by men.

In Ballarat, more than seven out of 10 victims of domestic violence are women, Crime Statistics Agency's 2023 data shows.

Ms Farha said that the Victorian government had funded 13 specialist family violence courts across the state, including in Ballarat, to support better access to justice for survivors.

Bridget said one day she noticed that her phone was gone after playing with her child.

"I have recordings of him being emotionally abusive to me," she said.

"He was laying on the bed and he was holding [my phone]. And he was saying, 'I think there's something you want to tell me'.

"I tried to grab my phone from him and he pull it away from me. I just kept grabbing and grabbing. And every time I tried to grab [the phone], he pushed me. Bit by bit, and then the last push was really hard," Bridget said.

"He is a really big guy - I flew backwards and then I hurt my tailbone internally," she said.

Bridget said she went to see her GP and another male GP talked to her husband.

"I thought he would change after that. But unfortunately, in my experience, things would mellow down for a bit and then it escalates again, and it was just horrible," she said.

Bridget left the place she used to call home after one incident which left her shaking and crying in front of police but her child temporarily stayed with the father, she said.

After about 12 days of separation, Bridget said she was desperate to see her daughter.

"I met them at Lake Esmond; I was happy," she said.

When Bridget said she wanted to catch an Uber home instead of a lift, the manipulation started again.

"He said to me, 'If you are not going to get in, I will kill you'. My only choice at that time was to get into the car because my daughter was there," Bridget said.

"The car was going really fast - he said that he was wanting to kill everyone - I was just crying and I remember my [child's] eyes were just widen," she said.

Bridget said he finally stopped in an "isolated" area in Beaufort.

"He opened the door and he really tried to grab my phone from me. He probably didn't expect that there would be cars passing by," she said.

A witnesses soon called the police, Bridget said.

"My child saw everything."

"A lot of things happen behind closed doors. And this is why some perpetrators keep perpetrating violence," Bridget said.

"Because they think that for as long as no one sees it, then they're all clear."

Her advice to victims, even those still in the relationship, maybe they should discreetly seek counseling, because at least it could help educate themselves to be able to know, she said.

"All you think is that when he's having a bad day or something, you should just be there for him," she said.

Bridget said she realised she was "in the cycle of violence" when she called a hotline in a mum's group online.

*a pseudonym has been used to protect Bridget's identity.

Support is available for those who may be distressed.

Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; Men's Referral Service 1300 776 491; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; beyondblue 1300 224 636; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732